Remember the first time you saw your first-born child? You might have been amazed at her eyes, or
mesmerized by the perfection of his hands.
You might have dutifully recorded the first smile, the first laughs, the
first steps, the first dance. He or she
became the most important individual in your life. When that little person came into your world,
you knew that your life had changed forever.
There is nothing quite like the joy of parenthood. It can lift your spirits on the most
miserable day. It gives you a reason to
rise in the morning, and a good excuse for blowing bubbles, catching fireflies,
or gazing at a fireworks display. When
you give your child a hug at night, you know that all is right with the
universe.
However, parenthood can also be quite stressful. There are so many demands on your time, so
many commitments you need to fulfill.
Your responsibilities can leave you feeling anxious and frustrated. If your child is sick, or is having trouble
in school, or has become involved in drug or alcohol abuse, your stress level
could rise to the max.
Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to eliminate the stressors
associated with parenthood. They simply
come with the territory. While you can
guide your child, you cannot expect to control him or her, particularly when
your child reaches the teenage years.
Therefore, you have to learn to somehow manage the stress of parenthood
before it gets the better of you.
The most important strategy you can adopt is to keep the communication
going between yourself and your child, even when it becomes difficult. Your stress level will be greatly reduced if
you can talk with your child, especially when something is bothering him or
her. It is important for your child to
know that your love is unconditional, and that he or she can turn to you at any
time of the day or night. Strengthening
the bond of trust can do a great deal to eliminate your stress.
Another stress-reducing tact you can take is to set aside time to spend
with your child—other than helping him or her with homework. This is particularly important if you have
more than one child. You need some fun
time with your child—to let him or her know that you care. Plan for an afternoon of rollerskating or an
evening playing checkers. You’ll find
that such relaxing activities can help to alleviate your stress.
Also, it is important that you build into your day a break in the
action. Have your husband or wife watch
the children for ten minutes while you re-group. This is particularly important if you find
yourself under so much stress that you are about to lose your temper. Give yourself a timeout—and watch your stress
level drop considerably.
Mention needs to be made about the special stress that single parents
feel. Theirs is a difficult lot and the
pressures can be intense. That is why it
is so critically important for single parents to strengthen their support
systems. They need to have a parent,
brother or sister, or friend they can rely on when the stress of parenting
becomes overwhelming. Just having
someone to talk to can be a tremendous stress-reliever. In other cases, a single parent might need
someone to watch his or her children for the night so that the parent can
re-group. Asking for help is not a sign
of weakness—it is indicative of great emotional strength. If you find yourself falling apart, don’t
wait for a crisis to get some assistance.
If you turn to others for support, you will find that your family unit
will only grow stronger.
Parenting is perhaps the single greatest responsibility a person can
hold. As a result, there is a tremendous
amount of stress involved. Recognizing
that fact is an important part of the parenting process. Once you are attuned to stress—and the causes
of it—you are more likely to be able to manage it well. It is important also for you to recognize
that stress management is an on-going process—that it doesn’t happen overnight. However, with time, you can become a
first-rate stress manager.
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