The television is blaring…the phone is ringing…and someone has just
arrived at the door. You are under
stress—big-time. As a result, you may
feel a loss of control. If it’s a
particularly bad day, you might even feel as if there is no way out. You feel overwhelmed and ill-equipped to deal
with the stress you’re under.
What you may not realize is that it is entirely within your power to
manage stress in a healthier way. You
may not have control over what happens in your life—but you can control your
reaction to various stressors. All it takes is a little advanced planning on
your part.
Of course, a knee-jerk reaction to stress is to try to remove the stress
entirely from your life. But this is not
always possible and, in some cases, it may not be the best approach. Instead, you might consider limiting your
contact with a certain stressor. In
other words, if you’re really feeling overwhelmed, can you take a break from the
action? Just a few minutes outside can
help clear your head, enabling you to better handle stress in the long
run. Another effective strategy is to
consider delayed gratification. For
instance, say you enjoy a frappuccino in the morning, but you hate the commute
to get to the coffee shop. Perhaps you
can make the frappuccino a one-day-a-week treat instead of an everyday
affair.
Another habit that can make stress more difficult than it needs to be is
all-or-nothing thinking. For instance,
if you’re having trouble studying for a test, do you assume that you are going
to fail? If you have a disagreement with
your spouse, do you think that he or she will eventually leave you? If your mother is ill, do you begin worrying
that she will die soon? Such
disaster-oriented thinking can make a difficult situation even more trying,
even more stressful. By adopting a more
realistic approach to problems, you can limit your emotional reaction to
stress.
Perfectionism may also be at the root of your stress. If you think that you have to be perfect in
the office and at home, you can never really relax. In other words, you are putting yourself
under unnecessary stress. If you begin
to focus on performing tasks well rather than perfectly, you can establish more
realistic expectations for your life.
This new-and-improved thinking can enable you to face challenges with
more confidence.
Another mode of thinking that can lead to greater stress is a
winner-take-all philosophy. If you feel
as if you always have to win, you set yourself up for cut-throat
competition. This can be extremely
destructive, especially to your interpersonal relationships. It is much better to adopt an “everybody
wins” philosophy. According to this
viewpoint, the critical thing is to perform those tasks that will do the most
good. Following this philosophy, you are
far more likely to be able to take stress in stride.
Losing your temper can also cause you unnecessary stress. If you are feeling as if you are about to
explode, think of something calming, such as an ocean or a tree. Don’t give
into the temptation to self-destruct.
Getting angry will not solve your problem and could, in fact, create
additional problems. If you feel as if
your blood is about to boil, stay cool, take a step back, and re-assess your
options. With a clear head, you may be
able to find the solution to your problem relatively quickly. Your stress level should also drop.
It should be said that it is not easy to control your reactions to
stress. It takes a great deal of time,
patience, and emotional effort. If you
tend to react quickly to stress, you might have to teach yourself to slow your
reactions. You will have to learn to
make controlling your reactions to stress a habit. It is well worth the work involved. Otherwise, you could find yourself battling a
stress-related illness. When all else fails, remember this
slogan: Take a breath and take a
break. While you might lose some time in
the short run, you could benefit a great deal over the long haul. And your friends and family might notice a
distinct change in your emotional reaction to stress.
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